About Community and Belongingness

We know we want connection and belongingness. We know that we get them from friendships and communities. But what do we mean when we talk about a community? We need to build a foundation for a shared understanding of communities — why they are important, what they are, and how they are important to each of us.

Remember Steve from my previous post? He had left his position to venture out on his own. While successful from the business side, he missed the friendships and the community of his workplace. What made it a community as well as a group of friends and why was that important?

Let’s take a step back and think about what it is that we mean when we use the word community. When we understand the concept, we will be better prepared to find it.

Belongingness and Communities

Community, a sense of belongingness, connection, and support from others — that warm and fuzzy feeling of acceptance — is a basic human need. Psychological and medical research show that belongingness as found from structured group interaction is necessary for happiness and fulfillment, may be even for survival.

Historically, social structures such as families and tribes based on mutual dependence fulfilled that need in addition to helping people survive the threats of predators and starvation. Those entities had structure which also meant less independence of decision and action for most people. A lot has changed — the historic social structures are much weaker. Now we each need to find (or create) our community which can be challenging. In exchange, we get more self-determination in our balance of independence and togetherness.

Sometimes we forget that, even now, communities — mutually supportive groups with some structure — are crucial for productive society as well as for individual happiness. As traditional bonds among families, neighborhoods, religions, and other groups become more attenuated for many, each person needs to think more about interpersonal interactions and organizations. A search for community is a contribution to building and sustaining the support structure for healthy civil society.

You might already be in one or more than one community that exists to support social structure whether it is being part of a group of neighbors gathering to define government or the PTA maintaining a school that is an educational (learning) community. You might be in a group that is about participation such as a sports team that is part of a league or an entity that formed to satisfy the desire to make and hear music. Basic needs and the demand for luxuries leads to corporate entities that are work communities. And communities can be formed to help or advocate for a cause which might be overcoming loneliness.

Purpose and Structure

Every community has a purpose that is part of the foundation for a self-sustaining entity.

The first step in understanding a community is identifying its purpose. If you are looking for belongingness, you want to find a group (or groups) where you have a shared purpose with the other participants. That purpose can be identified as belonging to one or more of these four categories:

- Pursuing an interest — such as hobbies like skiing, golf, collecting stamps or lifelong learning (and occasionally socializing.) The interest might be based on stage of life as a parent might have an interest in creating a beautiful community.

- Achieving goals — often through involvement in a corporate setting or profession-based organizations as well as improving your language skills, getting better at a sport or a team trying to win a sports competition.

- Conveying values — as exemplified by being involved with a school community or a religious community.

- Furthering a mission or cause — coming together to solve a problem or support a cause such as global health that often requires teamwork and broad collaboration.

It turns out that most communities exist for a combination of reasons which means there are more opportunities for alignment among participants. Note that a strong community does not mean people need to be alike nor that they should attempt to reduce or eliminate differences. A thriving and powerful community might be one that intentionally brings people together to share disparate ideas including for lifelong learning or inspiring creativity.

Purpose is necessary for a community but there has to be more. Those who are part of the group — the members — must receive benefits, most importantly the support of others in the group, and have responsibilities for supporting the purpose of the group and each other. The word members (and membership) is used to refer to participants because there must be an understanding, policy or rules that define who is in the group such as family members, soccer players, musicians, or readers. Without that, there cannot be a sense of belonging!

So, to be a community, there are certain fundamental elements defined by policies and structure whether explicitly stated or generally understood. The elements are:

- Purpose

- Culture

- Membership qualifications

- Member benefits and behavior

- Leadership.

With an understanding of the elements of a specific entity, you will gain insight into your interest in being part of the group. If there is alignment through a shared interest, you can start to assess the potential for your personal involvement. You need to understand the structure and norms of the group in order to be a good member and to realize the potential benefits of membership.

This understanding of communities as self-perpetuating entities with a purpose that provide mutual support to members should provide the context for your personal journey of belongingness. Once you know what you are looking for on your journey, you will be able to use these concepts to determine opportunities for connection and belonging. The process of finding belongingness is being intentional in assessing your community participation for both your current and potential affiliations.

We can never get a re-creation of community and heal our society without giving our citizens a sense of belonging. — Patch Adams

Next topic: Community or Network?